Shallow Cheri

I am so shallow. I admit it.

    The other day I was listening to a speaker, and I spent most of the talk mentally giving her a makeover. Oh, I tried to listen but, honestly, she wasn't a very good speaker, so my mind kept wandering. I tuned in now and then, but it seemed that everything she was saying boiled down to this:

    The sun is good.

    Okay. Yes. I agree. There's only so much thinking I can do about the sun, so I found myself focusing on her. What would Stacy and Clinton on the show "What Not to Wear" say about her?  I was sure they would take one look at the beige hair, beige shawl, and beige skin and say, "Sorry, honey, but beige is not working for you. You need a pop of color. Actually, a lot of pops of color."

    I knew they would tell her to shorten her long skirt and lose the vintage hippie look of her parted-in-the-middle, straggly (beige) hair. And I'm sure they would send her in for not new make-up but some make-up.

    "I'm being mean," I thought to myself, trying to tune in again.

    The sun was still good.

    So then I started wondering what Stacy and Clinton would say about me. After all, I'm not exactly a fashion plate, either. I figured they would insist that I have shorter hair and that I go bare-legged at all times. (They are big on bare legs. I always wonder if Stacy has ever gone anywhere in winter in other than a taxi or limousine.) And I should not run to the grocery store, ever, in jeans and a T-shirt. I should embrace high heels and pointy toes...

    My mind wandered to Clinton. Okay, he is effective. Women always look better after he and Stacy are done with them. But I have to wonder about his own outfits. If he ever showed up in Colorado in some of those prissy outfits he sometimes wears, he would be laughed off the street. Luckily, he generally sticks to advice for women....

    Speaking of women, I tried to check in with the speaker again. Yep. Sun. Good.

    I am so shallow.

    

Comments

[Sandy Young]

I don't think you're shallow at all. I think you're funny!! You make me feel better about wandering during speeches. But . . . I can't remember what I wandered about when the speech is over! Poor Sandy.