I was so happy to be able to tell my husband that the Denver Broncos won their game yesterday, in the last second of play. (He had to miss the game.) Of course, that was all I was able to tell him. And I was only able to tell him that because I heard a guy I know carrying on about it.
When the sports gene was passed out, I was clearly left out. Take football, for example. I simply cannot make any sense of it. One of my best friends in high school, the head cheerleader, took it upon herself to teach me football. She tried everything, from one-on-one lessons to buying me a special book on football for women. It didn't help. I couldn't pay attention long enough to learn anything.
To me, football is a whole lot of standing around, followed by random running and guys piling up on each other. My sister, an avid Boise State football fan, gets mad at me when I comment on her team's "outfits." My husband gets mad when I start wondering aloud why the coaches always say "ball club" instead of "team." No one can stand it when I tell them to be quiet so I can watch the half time show, the best part of the game.
If football could only hold my attention long enough, I know I could learn. But each time I seem poised to learn what the heck a first down is, I'm distracted. I wonder why anyone would choose black and orange as team colors. Or I wonder how cheerleaders can stand to wear such revealing outfits in front of everyone, and then I wonder if I would mind wearing such revealing outfits if I had a body like those cheerleaders, and then I wonder if they get those bodies from cheerleading itself or from some other kind of workouts, and then I think maybe I should join a gym, and I start trying to figure out when I could fit in a workout, and then I remember that I like yoga a whole lot better, and, well, tap dancing, too, and aren't yoga and tap dancing as good as working out, but if they are, why don't I have a body like those cheerleaders, and.....and then my husband or my sister will say, "So, see? That's what a first down is!"
But I don't.
